i usually skip her column because... i catch no ball. either i can't relate or i need to get back on my adult ritalin prescription. but i do try. because sumiko tan is such an awesome role model.

u laugh. but when was the last time anyone flipped to your column in the sunday morning paper for the ink that would fuel your conversations for the week until you next pen your thoughts?

no doubt that sometimes she is less than inspiring, but there are moments when ms tan sparkles with her ability to send shivers down your spine with that warm sunday morning coffee and catches you off-guard. Because just when you think you've seen the true depths of cringeworthiness, she emerges to surprise you; and once in a while, on one of those special and magical sundays, she presents a column filled with the most surreal ponderings, insights and conclusions a mind could conjure, and thus provides you with excellent fodder for your monday afternoon high-tea sessions. she is, at best, dali with words.

however, today was not that day.

finding little to respond or react to, i stopped reading about her feelings on superstition and went about sorting out our collection of books to be packed and sent to our new home in the new land. some interesting surprises there, mixed in with some old favorites, forgotten reads, and silverfish.

Gross Jokes. Printed in 1990. this one has stains on it and i don't know why. but i swear, i've never seen it before. this one not sure to keep or give or throw.

mild excerpts:

What's Spanish Human?
- A new insecticide that makes flies so horny they screw themselves to death.

What did Pinocchio say to the old carpenter?
- Quit bitching about your crabs. I've got termites.


How to Murder a Millionaire

Cheat my money one. is not a real how-to book.

is about some chick whose family skips the county for tax evasion while her sisters inherit everything and she gets nothing. or something like that cos i don't remember.

still, it goes into the box. because the cover very pretty.





Complete Guide To Symptoms, Illness & Surgery

the hypochondriac's bible.

it's good if you want to know how many ways you could die slowly and painfully from, say, a pimple.

fun stuff.

definitely a keeper.