A wise friend once told me: dating is like fishing. early in the day, you hook the bait, throw the line, and wait. When a fish bites, you tug on the line. Then you release. Then tug, then release again. Once you're certain the fish is so hooked it won't break free, leaving part of its mouth behind on the hook for the sake of freedom, you reel the sucker in.

i think the strategy has worked well for me as i've managed to hook myself a prime piece of poisson, for whom i try to make breakfast for most days, but it hasn't worked for many a lonely heart out there. And one has to wonder why.

I met another friend tonight for dinner who revealed that her boyfriend of over two years decided to forego the entire relationship and all its possibilities after she gave him the wed-or-walk ultimatum. Why didn't this fish bite? Could she have laid the bait wrongly? Tugged the line too hard? Reeled it in too early? Counted her fish before it flopped onto the boat, writhing in agony and protesting its entrapment?

Or maybe he just wasn't that into her?

Naturally, that's a really tough one to swallow but its a possibility. And one that seems to happen a lot. Imagine, all these potential hubbies out there who could possibly be just not that into you. And we're supposed to just sit back and accept that as a reason, albeit a stupid one. ya right. Chances are, they're not that into you because most men just don't get it. In fact, many can't even tell bait from balls. I used to go to school with young men who likened the prospect of marriage and all its trimmings (bait) as cutting off their testicles (balls) and handing them over for custody. boys these days have so much imagination and so little sense.

Here's another example of how most men don't get it. look at all the guys out there with girls that seem so unlikely. Our best guy friends hook up with our worse gal acquaintances and we wonder which stupid cupid is taking the piss. Then we pretend to make nice with the couple when they announce their wedding plans and sometimes, sometimes, we welcome the chick into our open arms and think hey maybe it might work... as long as he's happy, right? Besides, its really none of our business.

But fast forward 3 years and suddenly, he's lost 10 kg and dispenses with all hygiene practices. He philsophises about the existential similarities between shaving and sisyphus' rock and hill, questions the concept of the irreversibility of frying an egg, and surmises that happiness is a manufactured product of capitalism. like santa clause. And suddenly, its your business and he thinks your looks of surprised concern is an invitation to continue with all that crap. And you have to pretend (once again) to agree to the nonsense.

But its a rite of passage, perhaps. Maybe these guys are not so into you because they're too busy being into that other chick who's mastered the art of the pull and tug. ya we all know her... the one who either doesn't reel it in and takes pleasure only in the chase and the tease, or reels it in but throws it right back out, cos, well, they're just too small.

It seems most guys have to go through this before they wake up and smell the dead seaweed. They grow bigger, better, and then they swim out to open water to pasture. And that's where you throw your bait... in the open water. The problem though, is that the little ones also sometimes venture out there, and if the gulls don't get them first, chances are, they're the little ones who end up taking a chunk out of your bait and then prematurely ejecting away before the line is drawn.

So fisherwomen, sometimes, it's better to let the little fish go and grow instead, cos they're probably just not that big enough. Even if they bit a teeny bait, you'd have to put them in a bowl, feed them breakfast, lunch and dinner, and sing them to sleep for some time before they're ready to take the plunge. and that's only a maybe. As for the fish, don't play in the big pond if you can't take the heat. Otherwise, pick a good bait and bite the bloody thing already.