my hypochondria began to manifest itself just around the time i began college in the states, when the first things they distributed to you upon your arrival were your dorm keys, your term schedule, a box of condoms and pamphlets on a variety of sexually transmitted diseases complete with all the icky pictures that went along with them.

at that time, sex education in singapore was limited, and largely academic, so i wasn't quite prepared for this. but like all teenagers under the impression we were indestructable, i held the belief that this did not apply to me. after all, stds were supposed to be reserved for highly promiscuous individuals from western cultures far removed from all that was familiar to me.

when i went back to singapore for summer that year, i told my friends about the stats i read.

"did u know that one in six people have herpes?"

there were six of us at that slumber party and we started to look around at each other.

"i have herpes," one among us confessed.

before long, i found out that a dorm-mate had contracted gonorrhea... on the same night she lost her viriginity. a year later, i ran into a friend who had mysteriously dropped out of school after the second semester. he had lesions on his face.

suddenly, i stopped feeling so indestructable. i started reading about viruses and bacteria and stopped eating peanuts at bars and refused to hang on to hand rails or touch door knobs.

and now, a vaccine for the human papilloma virus (hpv) is apparently on the way. yay. so the good news is that the next time that drool-worthy hpv-infected dude at the club wants to get jiggy with you sans preservative, you'll be in the clear.

bad news is you still gotta worry about syphilis, herpes, chlamydia, HIV, viral hepatitis, trichomoniasis, and last but not least, gonorrhea, which u can also get in the throat if you're not careful where u put your mouth. gross.

best solution? get your sights set on a prime target, make your move, close the deal, get multiple blood tests and clear all potential bugs, then make like lobsters. i hear they mate for life.