Sideview mirrors, checked. Rearview mirrors? Checked. Gas tank, water, etc? Checked, checked, checked.

"We're not going onto the freeway today, right?"

Right. Phew. At the rate I was going, I think it did all the Californians on the way to the beach on this warm Saturday a lot of good. But too bad for those off the highway, because there I was, making turns too wide and drifting into the middle of two lanes because I kept forgetting that these guys drive on the OTHER side of the road.

And let's not forget the SUV on my left that skidded in a puddle just as it was turning next to me. And the accident I passed just a few miles from home. And the realisation that my eyeballs aren't as coordinated as I thought they were. switching lanes and having to turn and look over my shoulders is a bitch.

And let's not forget, too, that I'm an adult learner here. Probably the only one in the tri-state area. A fact made extremely clear to me today as I got behind the wheel, and abruptly went around the bend.

The instructor had arrived at noon with his previous student, a blond, chatty sprite clad in very short denim shorts, and as she was driving home, with me in the backseat, I made the mistake of asking her age.

"Fifteen," she said, waiting for me to offer my age. I didn't. Mainly because I was recovering from how unexpected her reply was. I was guessing, maybe, nineteen.

And then it hit me. Like a collision with a four-tonner. She's half my age. As in... I'm TWICE her freakin' age! Wait a sec here! I've only used these comparisons in the context of dirty old men, and older women dating younger dudes. For example: "What the hell is he doing with her? She's twice his age!" Or "Eeeeee. That uncle checking me out is so gross! I'm like half his age!"

Nevermind that I said before that I didn't feel my age. TODAY I FELT LIKE AN AUNTY.

Reality? Checked.

Maybe that's why uncles are checking me out these days. I'm closer to their own age group.